Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Robbing the rich to give to the incredibly rich

the absurdity of the whole Bernie Madoff scandal is almost too much to deal with sometimes. in case you read the actual news, or just don't care about this stuff, let me summarize the case for you:

1.)rich asshole tricks other rich assholes into giving him money.
2.)rich asshole steals all of that money.
3.)other rich assholes get mad and send the first rich asshole to jail for the rest of his life.
4.)poor people wonder when the fuck anyone is gonna notice them.

that is pretty much it. Madoff is no doubt a jerkface for doing what he did, but the way the media is portraying him is as though he is the first rich person to rip people off. far from it, Madoff is just one in a thousand sketchy-ass rich dudes, who take people's money. the big difference here is that he stole from other rich people. big mistake!

as we all know, rich people are placed on this earth from god, to make us feel bad about ourselves, and try harder. they also stimulate the economy and spend money which then "trickles down" all over us normals, and then finally just sorta slowly drips on the homeless. as we bask in these golden showers of minimum wage and "tax cuts", the rich also make t-shirts with catchy phrases, like "honk if i'm paying your mortgage" and "i'd rather be waterboarding" and the ever-popular "Reagan is dead and i can't get over it, because although i was barely alive during his presidency, i imagine his reign was a free-market utopia where all was made Right, not the terrorism-committing, Iran-Contra corrupting, Grenada-invading cluster-fuck that it actually was."
that shirt is my favorite.

now, you may wonder "but reuben, you are really smart and attractive, if this we whole Madoff business doesn't matter, why are you even talking about it?"

to which i reply, "shut up."

i make 8 dollars and hour which for where i live is barely over minimum wage. do i really care that some rich people are pissed over losing more money than i'll ever see in my lifetime? no i don't care. what i care about is that the stupid-ass news cycle can't stop talking about it.

because meanwhile the Pope is a freaking idiot (surprise surprise), Louisiana cops shot and killed an unarmed 73 year man, and something about AIG that i don't really understand is going on.

so why do we spend so much time on Madoff? maybe its because we know we'll never really get the big fish. so we put all of our financial frustration onto one guy, and and say he's to blame for everything. we know we'll never get the corrupt sculptors of this system,(they are long dead and gone) so we settle for no even second best. just some guy most of us had never heard of before the scandal, because the big fish always gets away.

this is Ollie North all over again. this is Scooter Libby all over again.

this is why when someone steals clothes, or food or other necessities, the blame is always put on the person who stole. we never ask why they needed food, or clothes. we never ask what is stopping them from having these things, so that they had to steal them.

so the next time you read about the Madoff and you get all pissed about it and find satisfaction that he is going to jail, just remember this:

1.)there are a million rich people out there right behind him waiting to screw you over.

2.)you'll never be that rich, because the hierarchical system we live by won't let you.

3.)you're basically screwed and if the most socially-minded thing you did in the past year was "vote for Change" maybe you are part of the problem.

4.)pay no attention to me stealing you television while you read the news.

on a side note, i do not hate rich people. i simply have issues with the validity of monetary wealth and its power and have felt this way ever since reading the landmark supreme court case of Hood, Robin v. Nottingham, Sheriff of.

1 comment:

Steve said...

Exactly how rich do you have to be before you automatically become an asshole? I want to stay just below that mark...